SharePoint
Sign In
Help
ADN logo

Tribute to Aunt Debbie
 

  • Home
NavigationSearch
  • Home
    • About
      • Our Mission and Vision
      • Our History
      • Who Are Anabaptists?
      • Our Staff
      • Field Associates
      • Board of Directors
      • Annual Reports
      • Staff Openings
    • Get Involved
      • Congregational Advocates
      • Partner Congregations
      • Accessibility in all aspects of church life
      • Barrier-Free Grant
    • Newsletter
      • Latest issue
      • Previous issues
      • Subscribe
    • BlogCurrently selected
      • Latest Posts
      • Subscribe
      • All Posts
    • Resources
      • Accessibility and Awareness
        • Accessibility
        • Accessibility Audits
        • Awareness
        • Changing Attitudes
        • Emotional Support Animals (ESAs)
      • MC USA Accessibility Resolution and Study Guide
      • ADN Books
      • ADN Disability Language Guide
      • Barrier-Free Grant
      • Book and Media Recommendations
      • Caregivers
        • Circles of Care
        • Families
        • Support Groups
      • Congregational Assessment Survey
      • COVID-19 Resources
      • Disability Topics
        • ADHD
        • Autism spectrum
        • Disabilities of Aging
        • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
        • For the Deaf
        • Hearing Loss
        • Hidden disabilities
        • Intellectual disabilities
        • Mobility Impairment
        • Vision Disabilities
      • Faith Formation & Worship
        • Children
        • Classroom Accessibility
        • For Church leaders
        • Book Reviews
        • Our Speakers
        • Youth
      • From Other Faith Traditions
      • On Mental Health
        • Children and Youth
        • Depression and Anxiety
        • Healthy Boundaries
        • Mental Health Education
        • Mental Health Resource for Congregations
        • Mental Illnesses
        • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
        • Suicide
      • Speakers and Trainers
      • Webinars
      • All Resources
    • Donate
      • Support ADN: Donate Now
      • Legacy Giving
      • Honor And Memorial Gifts
      • Building the Future Partners
    • Contact Us
Left Menu
  • Pictures
  • Lists
  • Libraries
  • Recent
  • Blog
    • Latest PostsCurrently selected
    • Subscribe
    • All Posts

Tribute to Aunt Debbie
Written April 10, 2012. For Debbie, with love.

Posted by Kathy Dickson / Bluffton, Ohio
4/10/2012
Page Image
Two women hugging
Image Caption
Opening paragraph
​My Aunt Debbie died five years ago today. Aunt Debbie, who gave me a sliver of perspective into being yourself with a disability in an ableist world: the anniversary of her death always involves a sort of haunting for me.

Page Content

I call it a haunting because the day reminds me of profound loss and of traumatic, untimely, unexpected, and bloody death. Unlike the other 364 days of the year, when my life flows on with a constant knowing that she is gone, this day pulls together painful memories of her death and jumbles them all together with a sense of celebration and overwhelming gratitude for her life, with moments and stories, with the sounds of her laugh, her voice, with the sight of her smile, her orneriness . . . with her Debbie-ness.

As I told some friends, somewhere in my need to linger with the memory of her I discovered that I am weary of the word disability. Although having Down Syndrome was interwoven with the core of Debbie’s very identity, creating disabling realities that produced suffering, pain, and challenge on a daily basis in her life, I am finding the word disability wearisome.  The word, in how I think of it now, does not fit Debbie, because ordinary life with Debbie meant doing both the things that she could do and the things that we could share together. Weariness of the word might be, then, the very limits it implies.

For some, this idea may seem absolutely absurd. Of course disability ”fits” Debbie; it would not be right to imagine Debbie without Down Syndrome. In fact, her genetic make-up that produced differences and a concrete medical diagnosis cannot be separated from who Debbie was, nor should it.

But when I say I am weary of the word disability, I am weary of centuries of oppression that the word itself implies. I am weary of the attitudes it often produces in the minds of those to whom it does not so boldly or clearly apply: attitudes of absolute disregard, dehumanization. I am weary of all of the questions wrapped up in an understanding of “meaningful life” based solely on capacity and agency for all sorts of “typical,” “regular,” or “normative” things.

When I honor, celebrate, and remember Debbie, I call to mind a person, a face, and a hundred images and stories of moments spent in relationship. And when I think of Debbie, I am overwhelmed by how she accepted, included, and loved me, just as I am. There is nothing disabling in that. Through her love, I grew. I was able to serve a volleyball confidently with her all-believing shouts of “GO KATBABY. YOU CAN DO IT BABY!” over the noise of a tension-filled, crowded gym. I was able to take a break from studying because she had hidden my books in the laundry basket, and focus instead on a few hours of play and release.

Her love steadied me, centered me, and allowed me to be me. And I can only hope that she experienced my love, and the love of our family and friends, in a way that steadied, centered, and allowed her to be herself, just as she was: Debbie.

On this day, the anniversary of Debbie’s passing from life as we know it, I celebrate the gift of Debbie’s ordinary and beautiful life. On just this one day, I think, it’s ok to give thinking about disability a rest.

Tomorrow, though, I’ll plow forward, because this word disability is haunting, too. It will continue to haunt, as long as any one person living with a disability is denied status as a whole human being, named, called, and loved by God.


​Kathy Dickson has been a Field Associate for Anabaptist Disabilities Network since 2010.​

Subscribe to Opening Doors Subscribe to Opening Doors

 Related posts

  • Friendship
    Naomi Epp recounts the ways her friendship with Chantel has been a blessing for both of them.
  • SEEDS: Socialize, Encourage, Engage, Disciple, Serve
  • Making Her Presence Known
    Enabling people with intellectual disabilities to fully express themselves requires turning away from society's discomfort with difference.
  • Camp Safari
    Camp Safari for people with intellectual disabilities was a new camp this year for the Southern Ohio District Church of the Brethren.
  • Where's the justice in that?
    Why are so few people with developmental disabilities present in our churches? Next time you go to church, have a look around, note who is in attendance and resolve to do what you can do to bring those who aren’t already there into the fold.
  • I'm Famous!
    Introducing Ellie Wenger, a teenage girl with Down syndrome who lives a rich life

 Latest posts

  • Loneliness: It Affects us All
    M.Div. student Michelle Robichaud offers a few ways churches can support lonely youth who lack a feeling of connection.
  • 2023
  • Epiphany: See Our Guide!
    Brandon Grady draws a connection between navigating life as a blind man and searching for Jesus as a magi.
  • Immanuel: God with Us
    God is with us in our pain, suffering, and isolation. Jesus's incarnation brings us hope.
  • The Kin-dom of Heaven
    Sarah Werner provides an eloquent imagining of what it feels like to be wholly welcomed into God's Community
  • Wounded and Whole
    Why does the Resurrected Jesus have wounds? Laura Stone muses in her sermon on disability and wholeness. Plus a sneak peek of Laura and Peggy Gilbert's performance poetry.

 Read more about

  • Intellectual disabilities

Contact us

P: 877-214-9838 (Toll Free)
P: 574-343-1362
3145 Benham Avenue
Suite 5
Elkhart, IN 46517-1970
Visit the Anabaptist Disabilities Network on Facebook!

Support ADN

Use your credit card to contribute online:

Donate Now Through Network for Good

Donate Now Through PayPal

    Resources

  • Staff
  • About
  • Resources
  • Blog
  • Donate
  • Employment
  • Sign In
  • © Anabaptist Disabilities Network 2019