Come Thou Long Expected Jesus
by Bonnie Miller
“Come thou long expected Jesus, born to set thy people free,” as the Advent hymn goes. Oh yes, these weeks are full of anticipation of Christmas! Anticipation amps up as we fill our weeks with special musical events, Christmas plays, Christmas parties and additional tasks such as shopping, baking, wrapping gifts in preparation for the holiday. Finding time to prepare our hearts for Christ’s birth is an annual dilemma.
Twenty-three years ago, I found myself frequently wondering what it was like to be in Mary’s sandals as my husband and I anticipated the birth of our second child, due to be born on December 31. We anticipated meeting this little one. How would he look? What would her personality be like? What God-given talents would be on display? It was a high-risk pregnancy, due to the premature birth of our oldest child, so I spent more than 8 weeks on bed rest, which allowed plenty of time for my imagination to work. I had mixed feelings of joy and concern—joy for this new life growing and moving inside me and yet concern that this atypical pregnancy might result in a challenge bigger than our ability to cope. We joyously welcomed a healthy son weighing 8 pounds 4 ounces on December 18.
My husband and I learned a different kind of anticipation as we parented our first son who entered this world 8 weeks earlier than expected, tipping the scales at 3 pounds, 1 ounce. Our daily 90-minute drive to and from the hospital to sit by our preemie’s side in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit during his first month of life taught us a new kind of discipline and strength. “Alex” (not his real name) taught us about himself by coming through two surgeries in that time span with strength. We quickly learned that discomfort was not something he tolerated! We also learned about overwhelming joy when finally holding our squash-sized son when he was two weeks old, with all the medical tubes attached! We have now spent 25 years anticipating what will come next in life for Alex as he lives into life with cerebral palsy, a love of words and numbers, an IQ well above average, and loneliness that often takes the joy out of life for him.
Parents always anticipate and desire the best for their children. And while we believe that both of our sons are beloved children of God, we share the pain that loneliness brings to Alex’s life. As a person with a physical limitation, it’s an ever-present loneliness that is exaggerated during Advent by the busyness of folks around us. Sometimes the large crowds at holiday events make it more challenging for him to take part. While he does not prefer large groups of people, he greatly enjoys chatting with folks individually or in small groups. Mainly, he enjoys being with others because that informs him that he is appreciated for who he is.
I’m reminded each year that The Longest Night falls only a few nights prior to Christmas. There are many who struggle with loneliness, darkness, depression, anxiety and so on during this Advent season. Yet we turn our attention primarily to the brightness of Christmas rather than the reality of the heaviness of life.
“The Lord is our righteousness” is the theme used in our denomination’s Advent resource this year. It stresses that God is the ultimate example of good or rightness in the world. The Bible gives us many examples of God’s righteousness, extending from the Hebrews in the Old Testament to the good news of Jesus in the New Testament. As we anticipate celebrating Christ’s birth, it seems that we should also be practicing the ways of justice and righteousness that Christ has exemplified.
Who will connect with the lonely as a righteous act? How will relationships with the marginalized be encouraged as an ultimate example of good? There are many unjust situations in our society and the loneliness experienced by some may seem like only a small part. Yet we know of loneliness’s daily strength and how difficult it is to fight off.
May we dwell on ways to bring about more rightness to the lonely among us in this Advent season. May it be so.
